Toxicity Of Rome
Rome, Day 3½
MASCULINE:Basically, we’re in Rome right now. We’re in day three and a half, I am, and I’m just noticing the toxification and the heaviness of the experience here—and the difficulty in function.
One aspect of that clearly is the water from the fountains. It is mineral-laden, which does contribute to heaviness in the body. The heavy limestone—which is calcium, fortunately—but it might be edited a lot since the water’s been trucked in from aqueducts for 2,000 years or something.
I’m sure that the water that’s here now is very edited, as much as it is free.
And I drank a couple coffees today in order to get some clarity on things. I had to sort of override my chemicalness in some way.
I had to step up and go electrical. Zoom out.
Okay. What’s going on?
In which case I was told:
Boost vitamin C. Use rosemary as a cleanser.
Those are some of the simple things that I focused on.
FEMININE:I think it’s really interesting to feel the difference when we’re in places that are not cities—and probably the air and the water are just a bit cleaner in general.
We have access to higher-quality produce. We’re not eating, like, weird fucking junk out of a package.
It’s crazy to notice how quickly the compounding of artificial things and chemicals in the air and water causes the body to become—or to lose its intelligence—like, really fucking quickly.
I think people—or I think I have assumed before—that those things take long periods of time. Or that the shift back and forth takes a long period of time.
It can even be in a matter of a couple of days.
MASCULINE:Yeah. If you think you’ve lived here 20 years drinking that water—
you’re in trouble.
FEMININE:And it’s intuition. It’s your ability to navigate. It’s your ability to come into your body and know what’s good for you and what’s not good for you.
It affects, like, every single system of navigation.
I mean, if the whole body is a technology that allows you to sense the world around you and make choices based on all of the data that you’re gathering in your day—
your body’s only capable of gathering, like, a fraction of the data that it can.
It’s really in trouble.
I’ve felt like since we’ve been here—because when we were more up north, I was basically sticking to chickpeas in jars and produce, fruit and really simple vegetables and olive oil—and I felt really pretty clear.
And then just after, like, a day of being here, and being in the AC—I think also, like, a really dirty AC filtration system—and the food…
It’s like the heaviness.
The feeling is like heaviness in my body, and like my cells are in distress and trying to connect with the world around them, and trying to make sense of things—
and there’s just, like, all of this static.
MASCULINE:Yeah.
FEMININE:Yeah.
MASCULINE:Protest.
No more bad food.
But it’s weird to think about.
People want to have really exceptional experiences of life and use their bodies to intuit the world…
but people are eating, like, normal fucking things, expecting to have abnormal bodily experiences.
I think people are scared because they don’t know they’re infinite.
FEMININE:Because they’ve been eating poop.
MASCULINE:I mean, you have poop on poop on poop.
Life is poopy.
FEMININE:Yeah, you’re backed up.
And I think that these things are even in a lot of foods that people think are healthy and ancient.
You know, it’s like:
“Oh, my family’s been eating these foods for so many generations…”
And there’s an emotional attachment to it, probably.
I don’t know. It’s definitely really heavy in my body.
The lack of cellular buoyancy and sensitivity is really noticeable in my experience.
And it just contributes to way less bodily intelligence and, like, mental intelligence, obviously.
It’s the same thing.
The Split
MASCULINE:Yeah. I mean, it’s interesting.
I’m in a mode right now where I feel distinctly like I’m choosing between being a kid and being like:
“I just wanna celebrate and fuck it all and just play and enjoy my life.”
Which is what we’ve been calling chemical, in many ways.
And not have a mission.
FEMININE:I don’t think that’s chemical.
MASCULINE:And I think it is.
I think it doesn’t worry about accomplishing.
I have this feeling—which is valid—and I think part of that comes because I don’t have enough charge to have a mission.
Like, I don’t have enough anger or something.
This is what I’m experiencing.
I don’t have enough anger to go:
“There’s something I wanna oppose.”
I don’t have something to push off of, you know?
This is the whole thing of, like, indigenous cultures. They’re having a good time. They don’t care.
I don’t have to save the world.
There has to be a—you know—
I just wanna dance and sing and be like:
“Ooh, this is fun. I eat cookies and we just hang out.”
Which is great.
And there’s nothing wrong with that.
That’s critical. That’s what’s needed on some level.
But I have this other thing.
This split in me happening right now where I feel electrical.
I’m like:
“Fuck. We gotta talk to the animus.”
We gotta get these codes and bring them back and make that a bigger thing in the world somehow.
Give people a bigger possibility of that.
Guide and lead.
And it’s quite funny because I wouldn’t have had access to this if I didn’t drink the coffee.
It’s like I have this temporary boost right now that gets me to see this thing—
this greater mission.
And without enough backup, like supply in the background, I wouldn’t be able to achieve this, basically.
I need to have the vitamin C.
I’m gonna need to have clean food.
I’m gonna need to be moving dynamic.
I’m gonna need the sunlight.
It’s those other things.
FEMININE:It’s interesting because for me, that thing of needing to communicate with the animus and needing to do these things—
that also feels like it’s part of my chemical system, in a weird way.
And maybe that’s just because it’s in my genetics, in my DNA.
That anger that you’ve seen me in when I’m so frustrated because I feel like we’re off path or something…
It feels like it comes from my chemical system.
It’s this loud thing of:
“Holy fuck, we can’t do this bullshit thing. We have to stay on path.”
And maybe it’s just—
different codes in DNA.
Rome, Day 3½ — Continued
MASCULINE:I like—like, the more italics and the more bold and the more punctuation!!! I feel like the more engaging it is.
More Italian. It’s more South Italian.
Well, it’s just like—more dimensions to it, you know?
Like people feel like they’re reading something very dimensional.
I’m 69-dimensional.
FEMININE:You are 69.
MASCULINE:I’m an elephant with wings and a beard.
The animals want people to talk to.
They want friends.
Is this recording?
FEMININE:Yeah.
CHEMICAL × CHEMICAL
MASCULINE:So this is why—part of the thing is that if I go into my chemical heavily, and Lydia’s already a chemical…
we end up VERY chemical.
Which is just a distinct thing. There’s no problem with that.
But I feel that.
Like I would just want to—
dance around!!!
ROOM!
LEAP!!!
We’re pretty!!!
FEMININE:That’s interesting to me, though, because, like, my chemical—
MASCULINE:You can’t take the lid off this video.
FEMININE:Doesn’t want to do that.
MASCULINE:It’s the aromatics that are the medicine.
FEMININE:My chemical—like, my chemical nature—really wants to connect to Earth consciousness and blend, or bridge, that Earth consciousness with everything.
It’s like—
when I become super chemical, there’s almost like a pain.
Like a deep suffering that’s attached to it.
Because I can’t not experience the pain and the forgetting of mother lineage and Earth, or whatever.
It’s like—that’s what happens when I—
It becomes more angry, interestingly.
THE SPLIT
MASCULINE:So, on that note—to play a little seriousness into it—
I feel as though I’m in this split.
And if I play the chemistry…
that’s just to regenerate.
The chemistry, for me, is like:
REGENERATION.
And with enough of it, it charges an electrical possibility.
And then I become able to do, like—
MISSIONS IN THE WORLD.
That’s a bit of what it feels like to me.
I guess I’ll just keep speaking because I’m—I think I’m getting quite hungry as well.
I’m switching through a lot of modes within me.
It’s quite interesting and unique.
It’s like…
Yeah.
I think that’s, for me, a little bit of what it is.
The electrical is meant to get charged up.
Like, you want to fill your electricalness until it’s overflowing.
Then it becomes—
ELECTRICAL CHARGE.
That’s the point.
Whereas if your electrical charge comes from a non-charged chemistry…
it’s disconnect.
They should, like—
GEAR TOGETHER.
And produce something.
And vice versa.
If your electrical comes without sufficient chemistry, and your chemistry doesn’t have electrical…
they’re like missing pieces.
“I KNOW MY MISSION.”
MASCULINE:And so my electrical, like, wants to go and do these things.
And this is where I think a lot of people are facing this problem I’m in right now.
They live in it every day.
Where they have moments of clarity of, like—
“I KNOW MY MISSION.”
“I KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO.”
But then…
they lose it.
Because it was from coffee.
Or weed.
Or a cigarette.
And they don’t have enough charge—like, a chemical charge—to actually make it happen.
And I think that’s why we’re making this recording right now.
Why I’m really discussing this.
Because that’s this feeling I have:
many people are facing this.
THE BATTERY
FEMININE:I think that, to me—again, we’ve talked about this before—
in a battery, the electrical charge comes from chemistry, actually.
MASCULINE:Correct.
FEMININE:Like—
the chemistry is the predecessor of where the energy actually comes from.
And so I’m skeptical of this idea that even a true mission would be known through electricity at all…
if it’s not actually coming from the chemical system.
It would be like an—
idea.
And ideas are different than the blueprint and codes that are of your body…
and of your chemistry.
And maybe that’s why those things die.
People have ideas and excitement to generate some electrical concept—
but if it’s not backed by a deep and fundamental code in the body that is your chemical nature…
it quickly loses sight of it.
And the idea changes—
all the time.
Rather than it being like one stable knowing in your being of:
“THIS is the thing that I have to do.”
And every time I check back in with my body…
it’s the same.
Or something like that.
THE CHARGE HAS TO COME FROM SOMEWHERE
MASCULINE:For sure.
I think it’s—it is—a charge.
I think people have thought that electricalness separate from the chemical is, like…
the truth.
And I think it’s—
Like, I did eat a lot last night.
I charged my chemistry.
I did sleep.
I cooled my body.
And so I woke up, drank coffee, and I was able to reach this—
VERY clearly.
And I can feel the spiral in parts.
Like, my inspiration—I have, around my gallbladder, lots of spiral charge coming.
And around my pancreas, coincidentally.
I can feel them both spiraling and charging my blood.
I can feel that in my legs.
I don’t have, like, the fear of moving forward in my thighs.
I can feel it spiraling on both left and right.
My thyroid—I can feel it.
Not quite as potent.
But I can feel that charge.
That’s where this electricity is, like, coming from, potentially.
And people aren’t aware of that.
It’s like a dynamo.
It’s like a DC motor creates electricity through the chemical potential and things like that, basically.
And so—
that’s where this is coming from.
DON’T LOSE IT. FEED IT.
MASCULINE:And I feel this.
And a lot of people don’t know they have to charge their chemistry…
so then they lose it right away.
Whereas I know that now.
So I’m going to charge my chemistry after this.
Keep this going.
And—
GO OUT INTO THE WORLD.
Right?
I didn’t used to do that.
I’m going to charge my chemistry.
And people don’t know.
So they’re living in and out… in and out… in and out…
And that’s why we’re making these transcripts.
This particular transcript is telling people:
Hey, man.
Jarred chickpeas? Good. Glass jars.
AC? Fucks your chemistry up.
Warm water with an herb bath in it? Charges up your blood.
Sunlight in the eyeballs? Charges up the blood and gives you potential.
Movement. Dynamic movement. Mineral content. Fresh fruits. Good-quality fruits with vitamin C.
I’m being told—
these are the things that are going to charge you up.
And the things that deplete you—
being indoors too much…
moldy ACs…
synthetic lighting…
really dead food…
like dead pizzas that have been sitting out on a fucking counter forever at a place, made with shit ingredients.
THE FALSE HIGH
MASCULINE:And then people drink coffee and they go—
“WOW!!! I FEEL AMAZING!!!”
Or:
“I SMOKE A CIGARETTE AND I FEEL AMAZING!!!”
“I FEEL CLEAR!!!”
“I KNOW MY MISSION!!!”
And then—
dies.
Because they don’t then go and act on the thing.
Like—
BING!!!
I have the idea.
And then they go and try to live that through electricity…
instead of going immediately and—
CHARGING THROUGH CHEMISTRY.
And that’s the trick.
That’s the difference, I think.
That’s what we’re trying to emphasize right now.
THE BATTERY IS SPUTTERING
MASCULINE:And you can feel a little chaosness in me because I don’t have my electricity—
my electricity is getting unstable because my chemistry is running out.
My battery is like—
SPURTING OUT.
So I need to go and consume.
Which is what Lydia said in the first place—who is more chemistry-dominant—so she knows:
“Hey. We need to charge up.”
So that’d be the next task.
Although I feel amazing, and I’m cracked on the coffee, and I’m like—
“OH MY GOD!!! LA-DA-DA!!! LIFE’S SO AMAZING!!!”
Like I used to think when I was in my early 20s:
“THIS IS WHAT LIFE’S ALL ABOUT!!!”
And then we’d die and I’d go—
“I’m so sad.”
“I’m a waste.”
“My life is a forfeit.”
“I hate myself.”
And I realized…
I was just running out of chemistry.
Now I know that.
I was just—
RUNNING OUT OF CHARGE.
So people that feel that way and get on antidepressants—don’t do that, but charge up your blood.
CHARGE THAT MOTHERFUCKER.
Go sit by a tree and eat a fucking cantaloupe.
A good-quality cantaloupe.
And feel that charge up.
And then get yourself a good protein.
Some good chickpeas in a glass jar.
Some premium eggs.
Spend the money, you know?
CHARGE UP, MY FRIENDS.
CHARGE. UP.
Love you.
